So, I’m sure that looking at this picture probably made you LOL, but lets be serious, it’s NOT funny. It’s kind of hard to see, as I wasn’t thinking about using this in a post during the time, but yes those are fruit loops…..all over my dining room floor and next to my 16 month old. Looking back now it is kind of funny, but I’m here to tell you that at the time, I WAS NOT laughing. After the evening, night and morning I was having this was the last thing i needed. Let me play it out for you.
Twas’ the night before Kael (my husband) had to leave for work. We weren’t 100% sure if he was leaving the next day or not until he received an email with his flight information (yes, that’s how it works, though generally we are aware of crew change day ahead of time). Once he told me he was leaving I was instantly in “super mom” mode. Looking around the house I realized I needed to get baby wipes, milk, bread and a few other misc items that I could pick up all from the same store. So me being me, I decided last minute to make a trip to Publix that evening so I wouldn’t be stressed with dragging ALL of the kids to the grocery store by myself the following day. As we are finishing up dinner my husband gets up and heads over to our daughter (she’s 10 weeks old) and picks her up, only to head to his recliner. I know what this means……now that he has her he thinks he is “helping” in some way or another and I am going to be stuck cleaning both of the boys and the kitchen by myself. Awesome.
I glance at the clock and its 7:30. The store closes at 9 and my kids bedtime is at 8 so I am seriously rushing. I tell my oldest son, Brayden, he can ride along. Of Course…..it takes 10 minutes for him to locate and put on his flip flops because he is so worried about playing power rangers with his pretend monsters that he can’t focus long enough to find them. On our way out the door my youngest son, Elijah, is following us screaming crying and throwing himself on the floor because he doesn’t want us to leave without him. I look over at the recliner from the front door, only to see my husband peer around the back of it and stare at me! Umm…..Swerve! I do not have time for this! Obviously irritated I picked him up and just left.
At the grocery store we are wandering around because I am obviously frazzled and trying to remember everything I need. While walking down the frozen food Isle Brayden tells me he wants some waffles. I picked out two kinds and tossed them in the cart trying to be fast. A few minutes later Brayden starts asking for a cookie. No problem, cool, I can get him a chocolate chip and grab a sugar cookie for Elijah that way Elijah doesn’t smear chocolate everywhere. Wrong. They only have chocolate chip. “Which battle do i choose tonight” is obviously what was going through my head. I chose the chocolate smearing battle. I chose wrong. Chocolate was everywhere, the car, his hair…..everywhere! Which means no chance of skipping a bath.
On the way home I was dreaming about a warm bath with rose pedals and a bottle of wine. Luckily for me, I was able to get everyone cleaned up and ready for bed fairly quickly. I hopped in the shower and got ready for bed myself. Barely able to think straight by this point in time, i headed over to the couch and laid my head down. Once I realized my hubby was going to continue watching NCIS in the recliner, I headed to bed.
It was nice, the sleep I mean, while it lasted anyway. Come 12:00 a.m. my husband is sound asleep in the recliner (I swear I want to burn that damn thing to the ground!) and Gracie is screaming crying. I knew it was going to be a long night of bottles, diapers and snuggles with my little girl. She was grumpy, she was gasy and she was hungry. I, well I was tired.
The next morning came too fast. Both of the boys were wide open come 7:30 A.M. I walk into the kitchen mombie style and decide I’ll make the kids waffles for breakfast. I was literally thinking that Brayden would be so excited he was getting to eat the waffles he picked out at the store the night before. I started the coffee pot and tossed the waffles into the toaster oven. They finish before the coffee and I was still barely awake. I headed to the table to give the kids their food and when I sat the plate down in front of Brayden he decides to say “I SAID PANCAKES”. There is dead silence in the room as I am contemplating taking the waffle and smacking him across the face with it. What kind of brat says that!?!?!?! I finally replied calmly (this time anyway) that he better be thankful I’m even letting him eat anything after making that comment. I head back to the kitchen still trying to process what in the hell my 5 yo just said to me. The coffee was done and I was excited to drink my first cup.
The next hour was a blur. Between feeding the baby, getting both the younger ones diapers changed and getting Brayden ready for school, I was already counting the down the hours before nap time. Kael wanted to take Brayden to school that morning since he had to leave in the afternoon and I was not arguing. I was honestly looking forward to sitting down on the couch and flipping on the news. AS SOON AS they headed out the door Elijah started with his normal fit throwing. He wanted freaking fruit loops and he wanted them now. The kid ate all of his breakfast so I wasn’t opposed to giving him some fruit loops in his little snack cup. I brought the box to the table and filled up the cup for him. It was about 15 minutes later when I decided to go into the kitchen and wipe down the counters etc…… I find the cleaner under the sink and that’s when I heard it. It sounded like someone just flipped a rain stick. I slowly peeked my head around the corner, expecting the worst, and I saw the worst. Fruit Loops were freaking EVERYWHERE!!!!!! Everywhere. I could not handle it. I totally was not even dealing with it right then. I just pulled out my phone and snapped a picture. I left that baby right there in the pile of cereal and sat down in the recliner so that Kael could deal with it when he got home. Oh the irony. All I could think about was how the coffee didn’t have any alchohol in it and how screwed I was, as this was the day Kael was leaving for work and I was about to embark on another four weeks of being a stay at home mom with 3 kids…..by myself.
I could keep writing about the following week for another 2 hours, but I’ll leave it at that for now! Ill be making another post tomorrow evening with some other mom fail adventures. But for now, carry this with you for a good laugh, don’t strangle your kids and if worse comes to worse pour vodka in your coffee cup and stick in finding nemo!
Ta Ta for now!
– The Tug Wife